See No Evil
by GirlwithCurls98
Summary: When Ahsoka suffers a head injury, she loses something she thought would always be there. With the help of her friends, she learns how to adapt to her new reality, and how she can use it to her advantage, all while searching for a cure. Also posted on AO3.
1. Suddenly Silent

"Ow." Ahsoka winced as Kix pressed a cold pack to the back of her head. "That's the last time I face off with a danchaf."

Anakin chuckled, warm laughter masking the concern in his eyes. The young Knight was sitting next to her bed, feet propped up on a second chair, watching as the clone medic tended to his injured Padawan.

"Just try to lie still, little one. And next time, don't make eye contact with them."

"Yeah." she grumbled, shifting uncomfortably on the hard bed. "You could've told me that before hand."

"I did. It's not my fault you were daydreaming during the briefing."

Kix suppressed a laugh, but couldn't hide his smile without the protection of his helmet.

"Trust me sir, those goblins are vicious. All the preparation in the world won't help you against them. Even the best men can't beat em, especially when they've got those clubs of theirs."

"How's she looking Kix?" Anakin asked. "She got hit pretty hard."

"The ice should bring the swelling down considerably, but you know how important lekku are to Togrutan physiology. With your permission, General, I'd like to run some tests to check her reactions."

Anakin nodded, even as Ahsoka rolled her eyes. "I don't get a say in this?"

"Not really, unless you managed to pass your Trials without me knowing." he replied.

"It won't take long, Commander." Kix assured. Ahsoka sighed, then turned her head to watch her Master. She needed a elder Jedi was cleaning both of their lightsabers. _He must really be worried._ Ahsoka hadn't been Anakin's apprentice for even a year, but she knew how mechanical tasks calmed his anxieties. She sent a wave of reassurance through their bond, with no reaction. He didn't even acknowledge her, totally focused on the moment.

As Kix promised, the tests didn't take long. Her hearing wasn't quite as strong as usual, or her echo-location, but both were intact. She'd experienced enough head injuries to know that she'd be alright once the swelling went down, and Kix relayed as much to Anakin. Once the auditory scanners were put away, the clone medic turned to Ahsoka with an expression she could only describe as sheepish.

"Sir, with _your_ permission, I'd like to test your Force control." That caught Anakin's attention.

"Is there a problem, Kix?"

Kix shifted his gaze between the two Jedi and tried to backpedal. "Not necessarily, General. I just want to be thorough."

Ahsoka smiled. "It's okay, Master. Kix has been studying the effects of injuries on Force-users. Isn't that right?"

The clone chuckled. "Now where did you hear that, Commander?"

Ahsoka flashed a toothy grin at the medic. "I have my sources."

Anakin shook his head. "Snips, stop eavesdropping on Rex. Kix, run the tests. It's better to check now than wait for the Healers."

Kix nodded. "Thank you, sir."

Ahsoka waited patiently while he stuck two sensors to each side of her head. Those would monitor her brain activity. Then he placed one stone in each of her hands. She'd played this game before, at the Temple. Each stone was colored, and with the Force, she could sense the color and manipulate the right one.

"Okay, move the red one for me."

Ahsoka took a deep breath and extended her focus outward. She centered her thoughts on her left hand. That one held the red stone, as red as Ryloth soil. As she exhaled, the stone slowly rose into the air-

Except, it didn't. It wasn't. She furrowed her brow and tried again. Nothing. She turned inward, and searched for the Force. It was there, always there, but not this time. The rushing river of energy that ran through her had become a leaky faucet. She was suddenly aware of the eyes on her. She reached out her senses to the bond, the tether that connected her to Anakin. It didn't matter if she was sick, hurting, or barely conscious- that bond let her know she was safe, that everything was going to be okay. But it, too, was gone.

"Snips? What's wrong?"

Ahsoka turned to him, breath caught in her throat, eyes wide and scared. For the first time in her life, she was completely and utterly alone. The massive web she had been connected to since birth had vanished, leaving her empty.

"Master, the Force is...gone."

* * *

Anakin was on his feet in an instant, fighting to keep his voice steady. "What do you mean, gone?"

"I mean, I can't feel it. I can't pick up the stones, I can't feel it within me, I can't even feel our bond. It's just...silent."

Anakin shook his head, not understanding. "Close your eyes." he ordered softly. She did, channeling all her energy into not shaking as he placed a hand on her forehead. He placed the other on her stomach, focusing on her breath and matching his own with hers. Anakin breathed in...out...and then reached for her. Ahsoka was very good at shielding, too good when she was angry with him, but this wasn't shielding. It wasn't a wall that he hit and couldn't get past. He could reach out forever, but there wasn't anything there. He knew the bond hadn't been cut, both of them would be in intense pain if it had. Something was definitely wrong. He tried again, sending a thought towards her. _/Ahsoka, are you there?/_

He looked down at her still form, the tension drawing her limbs taut like the string on a bow. No reaction. He sighed, and removed his hands. She blinked and looked up at him, hope pooling in her blue eyes.

"It's gone. I can't feel you, either."

A sob forced its way up, catching in Ahsoka's throat and choking her.

Kix, who had remained quiet, finally spoke. "We shouldn't panic, General. Force-muteness is quite common, actually. When Force-sensitives endure great stress, sleep deprivation, or malnutrition, their midi-chlorian count can be lowered significantly. Let's test those before we worry."

Anakin nodded tersely, before helping Ahsoka sit up. The shock had left her dizzy, and she clung to the sleeves of his tunic tightly. This was a waking nightmare, unlike anything she had ever imagined.

"What are we going to do Master? What will happen to me if I can't use the Force?" Her voice was thick with tears, though none had fallen yet.

The Knight shook his head and pulled her close, holding his young padawan, wishing he could support her with their bond. "Shhh." he murmured. "One thing at a time. Let's check your 'chlorian count first. Kix is right, you haven't had enough food or rest. Deep breaths."

"B-but if I can't use the Force, I can't be a Jedi. I'll have to leave the Temple."

Anakin gripped her shoulders and pushed her back from the embrace. "Ahsoka, look at me." He was not angry, but very stern. He needed her to understand this. She swallowed and looked up, finding nothing but compassion in his eyes.

"Ahsoka Tano, I don't care if this test shows that you don't have any midi-chlorians left. I don't care if the Council decides you are not to be trained. You are my Padawan Learner; I will teach and care for you as long as I need to. Anyone who has a problem with that will have to go through me. Do you understand me?"

She nodded, calming. "Yes Master."

"Good girl. We're going to figure this out together. Kix, where's that tester?"


	2. A Higher Power

_14,000. 14,000. 14,000._ The number echoed over and over in Ahsoka's mind as she walked with Anakin down the ornate Temple halls. When Master Plo had brought her home over a decade ago, her midi-chlorian count had been around 16,000.

"It's normal." Kix had said. "Exhaustion." he said. Anakin had tried to reassure her by having his count tested too. It was lower than normal, but not enough to be damaging, considering his count surpassed Master Yoda's. Even though her drop was significant, she knew full-fledged Knights and Masters with counts as low as 8,000. After all, size matters not. The drop didn't explain such a sudden and complete loss, or why Anakin couldn't sense her presence. Normally, returning to the Temple dropped her into an oasis of calm after the chaos of the battlefield, an overwhelming sensation of _SAFE_ and _HOME_ and _PEACE_ and _LIGHT._ But without the Force, Ahsoka's mind was a shaky raft adrift on a raging sea. Every emotion, every fear and sadness and desperate thought she had been trained to release into the Force bounced around in her head with nowhere to go. _14,000. 14,000. 14,000._

She tripped, stumbling over her own feet. She winced, preparing for the hard smack of hands and knees against the tile. But it didn't come. Anakin had acted on instinct, reaching out before she could hit the ground. He kept a hand around her elbow as she regained her footing, shooting a glare at a group of snickering younglings. Ahsoka saw them too. Her headtail stripes darkened, the Togrutan equivalent of a blush. This is only the third time Anakin had seen her like this, head bowed, embarrassment radiating off her so strongly he can feel it without their bond. This time, it made the bruises on her lekku stand out even more, eliciting another round of laughter from the brats.

Anakin sighed, placing an arm around his padawan's shoulders as they continued their walk down the hall.

"Just ignore them." He murmured.

She leaned further into his touch, as if she could disappear within the folds of his robes. The Knight held her tighter, trying to provide as much comfort as he could.

Anakin Skywalker had faced a lot in his twenty-one years. He'd been enslaved, threatened, tortured, shot, stabbed, electrocuted, poisoned, and dismembered. He'd faced the Hutt overlords, the Jedi trials, and years of Obi-Wan's cooking. But he'd _never_ experienced anything like this. He'd been injured, all Jedi were. But those wounds were physical. A little bacta, a little rest, and you'd heal with time. This was entirely mental. Invisible. It could not be seen, only felt.

He remembered what it had felt like when he had been Knighted, and his training bond with Obi-Wan had been severed. The process had been meticulous and remarkably gentle. For all the Jedi lecturing on attachments, they ensured that neither of them would suffer any emotional damage. As the Mind Healers eased him into sleep, his last conscious thought was his former Master's pride and affection rolling over him in waves. When he woke up, the bond was gone, but nothing felt missing. It was peaceful, being alone with his thoughts for the first time in several years.

And then Ahsoka entered his life and everything became loud and chaotic and bubbling with emotion. The Creche-Masters did not teach shielding, and it took a while before he was able to help her control her thoughts. Not even his shields could stop her rushing rivers of excitement and feelings- especially during a battle. He was amazed at her ability to focus and feel so intensely at the same time.

But now she was gone. And something was deeply wrong, a part of his life had been silenced. They were a team, worked best as a team. He grounded her in the present, keeping her mind on the here and now. She was his little fireball, pulling towards a bright future, a better future, where the Jedi weren't falling to gunfire daily. Where people weren't being created simply to be sent to slaughter. When he felt her, he felt her hope.

Ahsoka shuddered again, and he swore he could feel the vibrations in his bones.

 _/Hang in there, Snips. We'll figure this out./_

 _Dammit, she can't hear you, idiot._

He couldn't imagine losing his own sensitivity. For a Jedi to lose their connection to the Force, there was no experience comparable. There were blind Jedi, deaf Jedi, Padawans and Knights and Masters who couldn't speak, some who had lost a limb or two. But they were still Jedi. Without the Force, there was nothing that separated them from the billions of sentients outside the Temple walls. It wasn't possible to be a Jedi in name only. You had to feel it within you.

Anakin tightened his grip around Ahsoka's shoulders, not needing their bond to know she was in pain, but wishing he could use it to relieve her. She'd experienced too much anguish on the battlefield, it wasn't right that the pain had corrupted their home, too. He felt helpless, watching her wrestle with the emptiness closing in around her. The Creche-Masters never taught their younglings how to cope with their emotions, another flaw in the Order's system. The answer was the Force, always the Force. The Force was eternal, the Force was everlasting, the Force could not be destroyed or silenced.

 _If anyone was going to prove the Council wrong, it'd be you, Snips._

But maybe there was a way to help her. After all, Anakin had not grown up in-Temple. Like the Jedi, he'd repressed his emotions when he needed to; feelings could get a slave killed. But his mom had always allowed him to feel around her. He trusted her with those feelings, and Ahsoka trusted him. If anything, it might buy them some more time to figure out what was going on. There was no telling what such sudden and complete deprivation could do to a Force-sensitive's psyche.

But that was something he attend to later. Right now, they were seeking out the greatest help one could find in the Temple. They paused in front of the door, large enough to admit any species of Jedi, though its occupant had no need for such space. Ahsoka pulled away from his embrace and rolled her shoulders back. Sure, she was internally crumbling, but determined to project an image of stoic serenity. _You've been spending far too much time around Obi-Wan._ But before he could point out the humor to her, the doors slid open, and his gaze was drawn downward.

"Master Skywalker, Padawan Tano. Glad to see you, I am."


	3. The Jedi F Bomb

Ahsoka was always comforted by Master Yoda's quarters. It seemed that every day, she was on a new planet, in a new life or death battle, unable to find stable footing. But Master Yoda's quarters were familiar, and seemed to exist in an eternal standstill. From the moment she stepped through the threshold, she would know where her favorite meditation cushion was, how much sunlight would be shining through the blinds, creating striped patterns on the padded floor, and what kind of tea would be brewing in his tiny kitchenette. It was a treasure to know that it would be the same every time she entered.

Master Yoda accepted their traditional bows as they entered the room and took a seat. Within moments, fresh cups of hot tea were given to all, and the trio allowed themselves to sit in silence for a few moments and sip, enjoying each other's presence. Or, they would have, had Master Yoda not immediately picked up on the wampa in the room.

"Padawan Tano, feel you, I cannot? Strengthened your shields, have you?"

Ahsoka nearly shattered at his words. If only she was powerful enough to shield out the elder Jedi. Instead, she simply shook her head and looked up at her Master, the unspoken question dangling from her lips. She hadn't yet been able to explain the situation aloud without crying.

"Master, something has happened to Ahsoka's sensitivity. It's just, evaporated. She can't feel any of her bonds or use it in any way. I can't feel her either, it's like she's been closed off entirely." Anakin reached out a hand to rub the top of her montrals gently, as if his touch would remove some of the sting from his words.

Ahsoka rarely saw panicked Jedi. There were occasions, a Crecheling wanders away on a crowded transport, or a training droid goes rogue and starts firing at anything that moves (including Senators!), but she had never ever seen Master Yoda panic. There were many in the Temple, herself included, that considered him to be an unshakable pillar of calm. But as Anakin told the elder about their problem she knew she saw a flicker of uncertainty and worry in his eyes. It was, she supposed, the closest he had come to panicking in the last hundred years. But it wasn't long before his wisdom and centuries of training kicked in.

"Taken her to the healers, have you?"

Anakin nodded. "Kix tested her on the ship, and we went to the Halls of Healing as soon as we landed, but her midi-chlorians are holding steady. Lower than normal, but everyone says she just needs rest. But this isn't your typical case of Force-muteness. A lack of sleep wouldn't cause a total disappearance."

"Not wouldn't, young Skywalker." He corrected. "Hasn't. Heard of this before, I have not, but not impossible."

Ahsoka could feel her brief glimmer of hope crumbling around her. If Master Yoda didn't have any answers, she'd never be able to recover her Force sense. What would I even do without the Jedi? Where would I go? Do the Agri-Corp even still exist during wartime?

Even without their bond, Anakin could see her falling into a thought spiral. He picked up her forgotten mug of tea and pressed it into her hands. She blinked, and looked up at him, blushing slightly. She hadn't meant to drift off, especially not in front of Master Yoda.

"Feeling, how are you, Padawan?"

Even Anakin had to raise an eyebrow at that. It was not a typical question asked of Jedi, or if it was, with the express purpose of ridding oneself of the feelings. But all Ahsoka could do right now was feel.

"Empty." She said quietly. "Like there's this loud music playing around me, but I can't seem to hear it."

Master Yoda sat quietly, listening. He'd watched this little one grow up before his ancient eyes. He longed to be able to put her at ease, as he had when she was a youngling.

"It's too much and not enough all at once. My head hurts, all my senses are overloaded." She paused for a moment, debating whether or not to tell them, to make her feelings real by saying it aloud.

"Masters… I-I'm scared."

At the moment his padawan said those words, Anakin swore the room got colder. Cold enough that he saw Ahsoka shiver, although that may have just been the reality, harsh and unforgiving, wrapping itself around her. He could practically hear the lecture coming. Obi-Wan was rather fond of it.

 _Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, yeah yeah whatever._

But if Master Yoda was disturbed by her confession, he did not show it. Instead, he closed his eyes, breathing in and out. Listening. There were stories that claimed that when Master Yoda shut his eyes, he was watching the many currents of the Force and the future, all of their twists and turns and happy endings spread out before him. From there he could make the best decision for the situation, regardless of how bleak things might look in the present. Meanwhile, Anakin tried to keep Ahsoka focused on her tea. _Breathe, sip, swallow, breathe._ Of course her other senses were going to be working overtime to compensate for her lack of sensitivity. He was going to have to keep her focused and pay attention to her reactions.

Master Yoda opened his eyes and looked back at the pair. In the few minutes he'd been thinking, Ahsoka had drained her mug and Anakin had her drink the rest of his. The elder Jedi Master smiled, despite what he had been thinking about, and Ahsoka seemed to brighten at that.

"What do you think we should do, Master?" Anakin's spirits too, lifted at Ahsoka's tone. She seemed hopeful, for the first time believing that there was a light in this previously unexplored tunnel.

Master Yoda smiled and outstretched his hand, beckoning Ahsoka to him. The padawan moved quickly, eagerly, to sit in front of his meditation cushion, adjusted so that the young Jedi was at eye level with her elder.

"Young Skywalker, join us please."

Anakin too, got up from his seat, though not before sending their empty cups floating to the kitchenette. At Master Yoda's indicating, he settled himself behind his apprentice, resting his hands on her shoulders. Yoda extended his hands toward her and after a moment of hesitation, Ahsoka clutched them tight, appreciating the grounding pressure from the two Masters, holding her to the present moment. Her head still ached something fierce, and she was wondering if she was going to be able to meditate with the pain and without the Force, but she trusted Master Yoda.

"Your eyes, close them. Center yourself. Breathe." Ahsoka shut her eyes and tried to bring herself to center, despite the pounding that echoed in her head.

Anakin took a deep breath, and prepared to shut his eyes, but before he could, the elder Jedi caught his gaze and winked. Before Anakin could form a question, the lightning fast Master had let go of Ahsoka's hand and tapped her forehead with one clawed finger. The padawan was unconscious in a fraction of a second, falling back into her Master's arms. Anakin's protective instincts took over, and held her close. As she went limp, he slid one arm under her knees and the other wrapped around her shoulders- cradling her in his lap. He didn't particularly care what the little troll had to say about attachments at the moment. Not when the same child they'd thrown into a warzone was suffering as a result and wanted comfort. Even when she had been knocked out by a sleep suggestion, she curled into him, somehow knowing that he was there, that she was safe.

"You could've warned me, Master."

The diminutive Jedi shrugged. "Like Master, like Padawan. Stubborn, this one can be."

Anakin chuckled. They were both stubborn, especially when it came to resting. Hell, he'd lost a limb and was still arguing with Obi-Wan that he was fine.

"Pained, she is. Physically. Mentally. Need your help, she will."

Anakin nodded, tightening his grip.

"Not a traditional problem this is. But not a tradition team, you are. Believe in you, I do."

Anakin smiled, rocking the exhausted teenage girl in his arms. _They'd make it. They would have to._ And even if they didn't, he knew of a certain beautiful Senator who'd let Ahsoka be her bodyguard and let him be a trophy husband.

"Thank you Master Yoda."

"May the Force be with you, young Skywalker."


	4. Anakin's a Morning Person

Ahsoka woke slowly. There was very little that she got to do slowly. She seemed to always be running. As a crechling, she was running between classes and running after her clan-mates, in and out of training. She ran after clones, after Rex, especially when he stole the sweets Cody snuck her when he thought no one was looking. She ran onto transports, across fields riddled with gunfire. She ran towards burning buildings and away from Mace Windu when the Temple commissary was out of caf. And normally, she was up and moving from the moment that her chrono started beeping, loud and obnoxious. So this was a privilege. A privilege, to blink her eyes against the bright Coruscant sun and stretch her limbs, tangled in blankets and sheets.

She woke very slowly, not allowing her mind to deceive her. She remembered all of the previous day in perfect clarity, and did not want to experience the crushing disappointment that a brief flicker of hope would bring. She was still Force-mute. But she didn't need the Force to hear her Master, busy as ever in their common room. He was focused, she could tell by the short, harried steps that echoed from one end of the room to the other. _Better get up before he breaks something. Or sets something on fire._ The first time she'd ignored her instincts to see what he was doing. Two holes in the wall and a minor explosion later, Ahsoka learned that at any given moment, Anakin Skywalker was no more than thirty seconds away from causing complete chaos.

She appeared in the door, still wrapped in her comforter, bare feet curling up on the cold floor. Her Master was running from one side of the room to the other, alternating between fussing with something on the stove and tinkering with what looked to be an entire shop's worth of parts spread out on the floor. _I guess I should be thankful they aren't on the couch._

"Did you even sleep last night?"

Anakin glanced up from the stovetop, sliding something from the pan onto a plate with one hand, and pouring two cups of tea with the Force at the same time.

"Good, you're up."

"Master, sleep? Ever heard of it?"

He shrugged, not breaking his stride as he thrust the plate and one of the mugs into her hands taking the other back to work on the electronic mess on their floor. "I feel fine. You need to eat."

"I'm not hungry." She wasn't. She hadn't been since Kix had tested her.

"You can eat what I fixed or you can drink the meal-replacement shakes the healers have. Your choice."

Well that stopped any protest she might have had. Ahsoka sat down where she was and stuck the fork in her mouth. Scrambled eggs and toast. Her favorite. "Thanks for making breakfast. Did you eat?"

He flashed her a winning grin. "Of course. Can't be training on an empty stomach."

Ahsoka blinked, unsure if she was hearing him correctly. "Training? How are we going to train when I-"

"Snips, I'm gonna tell you the same thing Obi-Wan told me when I lost my hand. We're Jedi. We'll adapt. I've got a dozen droids searching the Archives for any information on Force-muteness. We're going to figure out what happened to you, we're going to figure out how to fix it. But we're also going to keep you on your feet in the meantime. Training will help. Now eat your breakfast and get changed. Don't forget your saber belt."

Ahsoka was about to ask how she was going to handle a lightsaber when she was struggling to walk a straight line, but Anakin simply turned the radio on and started singing, effectively drowning out her concerns with his off-key show tunes.

Less than twenty minutes later, Ahsoka reappeared. Anakin had a screwdriver stuck between his teeth and was putting the finishing touches on something in his lap. With one last flourish, he spat out the tool and turned around, holding up what looked to be a pair of binders, like the kind clones used on prisoners of war.

"Ta da! They're all done!"

Ahsoka stared back at him blankly.

"Cool. What are they?"

Anakin rolled his eyes, as if the magnificence of his mechanical genius was perfectly obvious, and his padawan was just being deliberately dense to tease him.

"Sit." He ordered, producing another pair from the pile of mechanical nonsense.

"How are binders going to help me?"

"Ah!" Anakin exclaimed, "These, my young padawan, are no ordinary binders. I've modified them for our particular purposes." He placed the set in her lap, and Ahsoka discovered that they were unique. They were binders, but split in two, forming two distinct cuffs.

"Okay, so they're split in half. Still not following."

Anakin grinned, warm reassurance in his eyes, silently asking for her trust. And while Ahsoka trusted her Master more than anyone, she was always hesitant when it came to his oddball inventions.

"Put them on. Use the little switch on the side to tighten them until they're snug."

Ahsoka obeyed, clamping each cuff around her wrists in turn. So focused was she on her task that she didn't even notice Anakin fiddling with the other set of cuffs until his hand captured her left ankle. She jumped, twisting in his grasp.

"Hey! What gives?"

"Snips, if you'd sit still, I'd finish faster."

Ahsoka harrumphed, but decided she'd save kicking her Master in the chin for their training session. Once he finished tightening the binders around her ankles, he fished around in his pile and tossed her a vest.

"Are we going into a combat zone or something? Why the blaster proof vest?"

"Just put it on, and then stand up. You'll figure it out."

Eager to get to something familiar, like sparring, Ahsoka jumped to her feet...only to immediately stumble and fall over, or would have, if her Master had not been expecting it. He stood patiently, letting her use his arms as a brace as she stabilized her footing and reassessed.

"They're weighted?"

Anakin beamed, pleased that she had caught on so quickly. "They are. Heavy enough for you to notice but not enough to hinder your movements. You might feel like they're slowing you down at first, but that'll go away once your mind adjusts to the extra weight."

Ahsoka nodded, shaking her arms absently at her sides, twisting at the waist, tapping her foot on the floor. "So because they're weighted I have to pay more attention to how I'm moving through space?"

"Exactly. The added sensory input should make you feel less clumsy and help with any overload. Does your head still hurt?"

The stripes on her lekku darkened a shade. She didn't want to admit any more weaknesses than she already had.

Anakin raised an eyebrow, waiting for his answer. He understood why his Padawan was doing this, why she felt the need to be so tough. She was being raised on a battlefield, among soldiers who were taught to suck it up and keep fighting for the greater good. But they weren't on a battlefield right now, they were home. She wasn't a soldier. She was a kid who was hurt and trying to recover. But she couldn't do that unless she was honest with him. So he'd wait for his answer.

 _C'mon you idiot. He can probably already tell._ "A little, Master. Mostly from the sound, my hearing is more sensitive than usual. There's an insect crawling on the table. But, it's nothing I can't handle."

Anakin smiled, accepting her statement without judgement. "Well, if it gets worse, we'll take a break. And if not, you're explaining to Kix why you're back in the Medbay. Got it?"

As usual, her teacher paired his lectures with his easy-going and all-knowing smirk, letting her know that even if she was a complete and total screw up, he still cared about her.

"Understood Master. Can we go punch some things now?"

Anakin laughed, striding to the door of their apartment, flicking off the lights with one hand. "We'll get to that. Trust me, I've got a lot planned for today."


	5. Getting Tripped Up

While Ahsoka felt extraordinarily silly walking through the Jedi Temple wearing a blaster proof vest and modified binders, she had to admit they were helping. Moving was weird at first, like her gloves and boots had been filled with permacrete. But after a few minutes, she barely noticed them. They only distracted her when she moved too far away from her midline, giving her a split second warning so she wouldn't lose her balance. It grounded her, whether she was walking alongside her Master as he rattled off the latest podracing statistics, or now, when she was balanced on a platform the size of a brick, twelve feet off the ground.

She'd been hoping to work on her fighting. She preferred the closeness, the precision and raw strength required for hand to hand combat. Anakin was a fighter, in every sense of the word. He'd had to be, growing up the way he did, and had taught her the skills she needed to overcome physically larger opponents.

But they hadn't even set foot in the gym before he'd nudged her to the obstacle course. Ahsoka loved acrobatics, it was a tactical advantage as well as fun to jump, flip, and climb up things that humanoids were never intended to climb. But on a day like today, when she was both uncoordinated and distracted, the course was more frustrating than anything else. Perhaps that was why she'd fallen three times already. This section required her to jump from her platform and grab a pole that was a little smaller around than your average lightsaber. From there, she would dismount and begin the next section, which involved navigating a series of moving platforms. She could still see Anakin below her, trying not to stare and give her space to work while he spoke to Obi-Wan. _I wonder what they're talking about. As if I have to guess._

* * *

"How is she?" Obi-Wan asked, careful to keep his expressions neutral.

"Coping." Anakin replied, keeping one eye on Ahsoka's movements through the course. "She's doing better than I would, but I'm worried she's just putting on a brave face. That kind of isolation… there's a reason Force suppression is used as a form of torture."

Obi-Wan nodded. "Have you considered taking her to a Mind Healer? They may not fix the problem, but it couldn't hurt."

"Hmph. That might help." He lowered his shields slightly and allowed himself to be vulnerable with his former mentor. "Honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing, Obi-Wan. We still don't know what's causing the problem in the first place." He rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous habit he'd carried from his teens.

"Anakin, you're doing fine. This is a unique situation, there's no rulebook for how to handle it. Do what feels right. After all, no one knows Ahsoka better than you."

Before he could thank his Master, another thud drew Anakin's attention back to his apprentice, sprawled on the floor and cursing like a smuggler. She pushed herself up to a sitting position and let her head fall into her hands. The elder Jedi shared a look, and a faint pulse of support echoed across their long dormant bond. Anakin walked over and sat down on the mat next to Ahsoka, placing a warm hand on her knee. Masters were taught to give their padawans independence, to allow them to work through problems on their own and guide them when they strayed off course. But as Anakin knew from past experience, it was nearly impossible to pull oneself out of a thought spiral once you were stuck.

"What's going on, Snips? Talk to me." He kept his voice low and soft, careful of her sensitive hearing.

She shook her head, curling further into herself. She didn't want to acknowledge the weakness, much less deal with it. Anakin took a breath. _Do what feels right._

"Padawan. Tell me how you feel." The direct order and use of her formal title got the girl's attention, and she lifted her eyes to meet her master's. Despite the firm tone, his expression was calm, patient even.

"I'm frustrated."

"Why?"

She sat up a little straighter, eyes narrowing. He was baiting her. But knowing that didn't stop her from responding more harshly than was necessary.

"I keep falling."

"Why?"

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow, unable to keep from eavesdropping. Ahsoka was a sweet girl, with an enormously kind heart. He'd watched her soothe crecheling's tantrums with a gentle smile and a well-timed joke. But he also knew that when she had been pushed to her limits, she could spit venom at anyone, even her beloved teacher.

"I. don't. know!"

Ghosts of tear tracks still stuck to Ahsoka's face but the fire in her eyes told a different story. Her front was cracking. She was panicked, but there was a fight there, a desperation to hold on. Anakin could see it too, and responded with the same calm demeanor that he'd started the conversation with.

"Well, let's think. You've got the dismount right. You've got the right height and speed, and reach the piping with no problem. I know, because you've grabbed it twice before you fell. So…"

"Something's wrong with my grip." It was a statement, not a question, whispered to herself as she put the pieces together. She blushed, shaking her head. "Sorry, Master. I didn't mean to-"

He nodded, rubbing her montrals like Obi-Wan would ruffle his hair. "It's okay kiddo. Take a breath, drink some water, and then try again. Slower, this time. Think about your hand placement, and how you've got to transition to the next element." He stood then, and went over to Obi-Wan, giving her the space she needed to reset and get back on her feet.

Obi-Wan had given up on his neutral expression, pride and amusement shining in his eyes.

"What's so funny?" Anakin asked, watching Ahsoka climb back up the ladder to restart the course.

"Just thinking of a certain Knight who swore up and down that he'd never take a padawan learner."

Anakin shrugged. "She's a good kid. I think-" He broke off in mid sentence, eyes going wide. Before Obi-Wan could ask what was wrong, his padawan had spun and was darting over to the obstacle course, a split second after Ahsoka had started screaming.

She hadn't even gotten to the part she'd been stuck on for so long. Instead she was frozen on the second section, hunched over, clutching her head and screaming in pain.

"Master!" She cried, voice thick with tears. "Master help! It hurts!"

Anakin stood below her, panicked. "Snips, I need you to jump! Jump off, I'll catch you. I promise!"

Well, she technically fell more than "jumped" but her Master caught her just the same, holding her close as she sobbed, nails digging into her temples.

"Master please make it stop! Hurts so bad!"

Before Anakin could even ask what was hurting or tell her that she'd be okay, Obi-Wan came from behind him and placed a hand on the center of her chest. A quick burst of the Force rendered the teen unconscious, leaving her two mentors to look at each other and wonder what had just happened.


	6. The Padawan's Aren't Alright

"Where am I?"

Whenever Ahsoka woke up in an unfamiliar place, that was always the first question she asked. The precise location didn't really matter, nor did the events that led up to her falling unconscious. Those details could be learned later. Where they were was never as important as who she was with, but that's never how she asked the question. And although she'd never said it explicitly, Anakin quickly found the answer she was looking for.

"You're safe, Snips. It's just me. Open your eyes, see for yourself."

She made a faint unhappy noise, like when she was feeling lazy and wanted to sleep in. _Just ten more minutes, Master._ She'd whine. Sometimes he'd humor her, other times he'd flicker the lights on and off, usually resulting in a pillow being Force-thrown at his face, while Artoo laughed as well as an astromech could. But she wasn't hesitating because she was still sleepy. There was a gap in her memory, and she could only guess what had happened.

With great effort, she pried her eyes open, squinting against the harsh lights. Her master's familiar silhouette sat beside her bed, slowly coming into focus. A smell, biting and acidic, brought her to full awareness. _Halls of Healing. How'd I get here?_ She brought her hand up to rub her eyes, or would have, if the movement hadn't been stopped by a swift tug. She glanced down and found her wrists restrained to the bed with padded straps. _That's a new one._ She looked up at her teacher, who was trying and failing to hide the concern on his face.

"The restraints are a compromise." He brushed gloved fingers along her temple, tracing over the marks her nails had left. "They didn't want you to hurt yourself while you were asleep. I can untie them, but only if you promise not to fight the healers, okay?"

Ahsoka nodded, not quite able to speak yet, still wondering how she'd managed to go from protecting others to needing to be restrained in order to protect herself. With her permission, Anakin perched himself on the edge of her bed and set about freeing her wrists. He kept his attention on the restraints, and tried to pose his next question as casually as he could.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

There was no hesitation in her voice as she answered. "The noise."

"Noise?"

"You didn't hear it?"

Anakin shook his head. "Obi-Wan and I didn't hear anything, Snips. One minute, I was talking to him, and the next, you were screaming at us to make it stop."

Ahsoka shuddered, rubbing her freed wrists and drawing the blanket closer, even though the room itself was not cold.

"It was so loud. I thought my ears were going to start bleeding."

Anakin laughed. "You don't even have ears, Snips." She blushed, but couldn't help but smile as she sat up. She reached out and held onto what her Master was offering, a small reprieve in the midst of confusion. He was good at that, good enough to lift the spirits of his men when it looked like there was no way out. _Kind of like now._

"A Mind Healer is coming by soon to talk to you."

"I don't need to see a Mind Healer." And more importantly, she didn't want to. There was only one person she trusted inside her head, and he had more issues than the Corusant Daily. Not that it mattered when it came to his skills as a Jedi and a teacher.

"Ahsoka, I know you don't like the Mind Healers, but we've got to explore every angle of this."

"I don't care. I don't like them. They get in my head and start moving things around." She crossed her arms over her chest, refusing to meet his eyes. The Mind Healers were incredibly powerful Jedi, and it took a lot to become one. You had to be heavily connected to the Unifying Force, and that gave them the considerable power to see inside anyone's mind, regardless of Force sensitivity. You could shield against them, as she often did when they started in with their probing questions, but it would take the strength of a Jedi Master to block them out completely.

"I know, and I've already talked to them about that. They just want to talk, they're not going to look in your mind. I promise."

Ahsoka sighed, letting her chin fall to her chest as she rode the waves of emotion that were flowing through her.

"Fine." She relented, looking back up at Anakin, noticing how relieved he seemed that she had consented. _He must really think it'll help._ "I'll talk to them. Can you stay?"

"Of course, Snips."

Anakin wanted to say more, wanted to crack a joke, and make her feel better. She'd likely only laugh to humor him, but it was better than both of them feeling hopeless. The lack of communication across their bond was starting to affect him too. Over and over, he reached for her mentally, to offer support, only to realize that she couldn't hear him. Obi-Wan rarely understood it, but that's why he made jokes. Sadness, despair, grief- those emotions were like quicksand. It sucked you in and dragged you down, until you couldn't get out and fighting to get out only made things work. Humor, silliness, however ingenuine it may seem, could delay them both falling apart. He wanted to make a joke, but the Mind Healer in question suddenly appeared, silent as a puff of smoke.

"Master Skywalker, Padawan Tano. Good afternoon." They bowed, the tips of their aquamarine lekku nearly touching the floor.

"Healer Badwazi, thank you for seeing us." Anakin rose from his seat and bowed back. Ahsoka, anxious but ever conscious of her manners, nodded respectfully. Rizzo Badwazi was one of the younger Mind Healers, exceptionally gifted with padawans and younger Knights. She'd been in session with the Twi'lek before, after her failure on Ryloth, but that was just a check in. They'd needed her back on the field too badly for her to linger too much on the past.

Badwazi smiled, and gestured to the bed. "May I sit?" Like Aayla Secura, their voice was smooth and lightly accented.

Ahsoka nodded, drawing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them, both providing a place for the Healer to sit and creating a physical barrier between them. Anakin saw through her tactics immediately, being fond of them himself.

"Snips."

It was only one word, not even sternly spoken, but it was enough. Grumbling, she unfolded herself and placed her shaking hands in her lap. She didn't like this. In fact, she hated this. But her Master wanted her to try so she was going to.

"Master Skywalker has already informed me of what happened. And I understand that you'd feel more comfortable if we keep our conversation physical instead of mental."

Ahsoka nodded. "Yes, Healer. I can't shield or process anything. I just don't think I can cope with an extra presence in my head right now."

"That's perfectly fine. You can trust me, Padawan Tano."

"Ahsoka, please." _See, I am trying, look at me being friendly, being vulnerable. This is great. I'm totally fine._

"I know you and Master Yoda have already talked about the effects of your injury. But I don't want to beat a dead wampa. In fact, I'd rather talk about your assignment on Garban."

"The mission? Supposed to be a scout and take down of a base, but our intel was bad. The planet's deep in Separatist space, but the native Jenet are neutral. Nothing happened."

Badwazi shook their head. "I don't want a mission report, Ahsoka. I want you to talk to me about what happened."

Ahsoka was getting frustrated. "I just told you what happened! We were supposed to find a base, take out some Separatists and go home, but there was nothing there! It was routine."

"You were attacked on planet, I believe?"

"It wasn't an attack."

"You were examined by your medic."

Ahsoka crossed her arms over her chest, abandoning cooperation faster than she had attempted it.

"Only because Kix wasn't busy and Master's overprotective."

"Hey!"

"It is well within his authority as your Master to have you evaluated for injuries."

"But I wasn't injured." The second the sentence left her lips, she wanted to swallow it whole. She wasn't injured. She was nearly incapacitated. Even worse, Badwazi's expression hadn't changed. They didn't even have the decency to look smug, or as smug as Jedi were capable of.

"Ahsoka, your Force-sensitivity was intact before you landed on Garban. When you returned, you were Force-mute. You can't ignore the likelihood that whatever happened on planet is connected."

Ahsoka sighed, staring down at the blankets. Anakin let her think. He hadn't considered the Garban mission as a cause of her injury either. It seemed far too complicated to be caused by such an average assignment. His padawan looked back to the Healer, determination rising in her eyes.

"What do you want to know about Garban?"

"Tell me what happened from the beginning. What you saw, what you felt. Everything you can remember."

 _Deep breath in...deep breath out._

"It had been raining for three days straight…"


End file.
